Line of Duty
by locomotive
Summary: Nick and Sofia are wrapping up a crime scene, however things don't turn out as expected. Set somewhere during S6 with vague notes of Bullet.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

"I'll be right back!" I gather my long blonde hair into a high ponytail before bending down to up a box containing evidence. I then make the short journey down the narrow alleyway and turn right around the corner to the unmarked sedan. As it's just me and Nick left at the crime scene, I don't mind helping the CSI, especially if it means we get out of the afternoon sun a little quicker into the cool, dark of the lab.

We're just finishing up at the scene of a particularly high profile crime. Eve Fisher, 24, only daughter of casino mogul Bruce, brutally murdered in an apparent kidnapping / ransom gone wrong. At the outset Bruce Fisher seemed to follow the kidnappers instructions by not involving the police, but had sought to double-cross them by hiring his own hit-men in return. Only it didn't go down that way and now we're cleaning up the mess. A downtown shootout forced the gang's hand and Eve paid the ultimate price. Nick is working the dump site while the rest of the crime lab retrace Eve's last steps. Bruce is an FOS (Friend of Sheriff!), so given the high profile nature of the case the whole Graveyard Shift has been working through the night and beyond to process and log all the evidence. The rest of the team has already headed back to the lab to begin the arduous task of sifting through what evidence they've already collected, hoping to strike it lucky and break the case quickly. Which leaves Nick to finish up what's left here with me as his muscle!

As I walk I smile to myself, recalling the day's banter. I get on well with Nick, and why wouldn't I, with that easy Texan charm and those strong good looks. I've had a soft spot for Nick since I first met him as a fellow CSI. I guess working with him was the only perk of the job back then. I was so disappointed when having just qualified for my shield, the Sheriff pulled my papers and my detective career was put on hold for life in the crime lab. Eventually I got the chance to follow my dream of becoming a detective but the trade-off was leaving Vegas for Boulder City. At the time I was happy for the fresh start, between Ecklie, Sara and the others, the office politics was just too much to handle. However, I didn't realize at the time just how much I would miss Sin City. So I bided my time and when an opening came up back with Vegas PD, I jumped at it.

Reaching the sedan I pop the trunk, loading my cargo. As I close the trunk my attention is drawn away from my rambling thoughts by a sudden bang. _Gunshot! In Nick's direction!_ I run towards the front of the sedan, desperately reach through the open drivers side window and grab the radio mic. "This is Detective Sofia Curtis. Shots fired at Jefferson and Third, possible officer down. I need immediate back-up and a bus on a rush!" I receive a garbled acknowledgement from dispatch and I set off running in Nick's direction, SIG-Sauer drawn.

_God, Nick, please be okay..._

* * *

Sofia is no sooner out of sight when I spot a group of three men creeping through a gap in the fencing at the Northeast corner of the crime scene. The area is a piece of dusty wasteland, roughly the size of a basketball court, surrounded on three sides with wire fencing. The fourth, westerly side is partially fenced, partially red bricked wall with an open gate leading down the alleyway to the unmarked car. The South and East sides lead to yet more wasteland, demolished housing from a crooked HUD scheme, while inside the perimeter to the North sits a rickety, three sided, corrugated iron hut housing some beat up trash cans. Behind the waste ground is a street where a four-story semi-derelict apartment block still stands. What was once a thriving community is now a crumbling neighborhood overrun with drug addicts and squatters.

"Hey Man, what ya doin'?" One of the men enquires.

"Hey guys, you really shouldn't be here. This area is sealed off, police crime scene." I say in my most authoritative law enforcement voice.

"No kidding!" The man sneers. He is short, mid-twenties, sunken, shifty eyes.

"So you best be movin' along now, there's police everywhere."

"Really? All we could see is you and your pretty little friend." Short's eyes narrow.

_Shit._ They've been watching us, waiting for an opportunity to pounce. They're obviously looking for something valuable - chemicals, drugs, weapons or whatever. Now I notice the short one is carrying a hand gun, the other two are wielding baseball bats. I put my hand on my holstered Smith & Wesson and quietly release the safety. They keep approaching, fanning out across the court. I'm quickly running out of options so I draw my pistol and point it towards the short ringleader. 'Stop or I'll shoot.' All three just smirk, almost daring me to pull the trigger. They continue to advance towards me and the taller two are now flanking me on either side, the guy to my right is wearing a dark blue tee-shirt and the guy to my left a grey hooded sweatshirt. I fire a warning shot over Short's head. That's when Tall Grey suddenly pounces, lunging at me, bat swinging. Before I know what's happening I feel a sharp pain on the left side of my skull and I cry out as wood meets bone and I lose all power, my body falling face down towards the dusty ground. I'm dazed but still conscious as I register sharp kicks into my ribs. _Crack, crack, crack_... my ribs cave in under the pressure of the constant pounding. I struggle to catch my breath. With every kick that lands I am more and more incapacitated. I groan weakly. The final kick rolls me onto my back and I hear squeals of delight as I'm roughly frisked and freed of all my personal possessions.

"Hey man, check this out!' From my peripheral vision I see Tall Blue reach down and scoop up my gun. He caresses it, turning it over in his grip, arms extended, eye squinting down the barrel sight.

"Hand it over!" Short demands, wrenching it out of Tall Blue's hands.

"Hey..!" Tall Blue complains to no avail.

Handing the gun to Tall Grey, Short says, "Okay Hoops, time to shine. Go show our pretty little cop a time she won't forget for the rest of her brief life" all the while staring down the alleyway towards Sofia's position.

_Oh God no, Sofia!_


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

I brace myself for the worst, my mind reeling with all the possibilities, maybe it was an accidental discharge and I'll round the corner to see Nick grinning sheepishly. Or maybe...

Before I have time to think darker thoughts I take the sharp left around the corner and enter the alleyway. I'm immediately confronted by a man, about 6'4'', early twenties, dressed in dark jeans, white sneakers and a grey hooded sweatshirt. He's holding a gun and without warning I see a blaze from the barrel and his arm recoil as a bullet blasts towards me. My momentum guides me just beyond it's trajectory and it hisses as it grazes the strands of hair which have come loose from behind my left ear.

As my police training kicks in I raise my weapon and taking quick aim I let off two rounds, _Bang! Bang!_ The grey-hooded man falls to the ground, motionless. Eyes still fixed on him I cautiously but quickly cover the few remaining feet to his position, and scan him up and down. Two circles of blood are growing out from his chest. I squat down on my knee to check for a pulse, nothing. I retrieve his weapon and move to place it inside my belt. But something catches my attention, it's a SW99. _That's strange, it's the same model as Nick's service piece_. But there's something else too, a familiar chip at the butt of the pistol... _This IS Nick's sidearm!_ I feel my gut wrench as panic suddenly floods my senses. My head snaps up towards the waste land to look for Nick. I see him lying flat on the ground, motionless in the middle of the crime scene. I briefly glimpse movement to the North side of the perimeter fencing.

_Jesus, Nick!_

* * *

Despite the blinding pain behind my eyes, my dazed mind is screaming for my body to snap to attention and do something, but my body won't cooperate. My corpse is limp and lifeless and as the blows keep landing on my chest, legs, arms and head, I can feel the darkness engulfing my vision. _No! No! Stay awake Stokes, otherwise Sofia is dead!_ But it's no use. Blurred shadows overhead suddenly stand motionless and I hear the familiar click of a revolver arm engaging, entering kill mode. _This is it_! I brace myself, accepting the inevitable and as the darkness descends, I can hear a shot ring out, two, three. My mind clouds as the black shrouds me and my last memory is muffled voices, a panicked urgency to their speech growing fainter along with their footsteps. Then blackness.

* * *

I refocus my attention on Nick's limp body and quickly make my way back up the alleyway, through the gate, sidearm ready, constantly scanning the area for any signs of threat. Nick obviously had company but my shootout in the alleyway appears to have scared them off. The area is clear as I rush towards him. His eyes are closed and he's not moving. He was worked over pretty good and I can see blood oozing from his skull, gathering in a small pool beneath his head. As I slide to his side, heart in my mouth, I holster my weapon and kneeling beside him now, I begin examining him from head to toe, using my CSI eyes to assess his condition, hoping I'm not too late. "Nick, Nick!" I scream, grabbing his head in my hands, tears stinging my eyes. "Oh please, no... Nick!"

Suddenly he lets out a gasp and I realize he's still breathing. I continue to examine him closely, patting him down to check for bullet holes and other injuries. _No GSW._ He's been beaten pretty badly and his whole body is covered in lumps, cuts and bruises. His ribs seem to have taken a lot of punishment. That would certainly explain his labored breathing. Finally, checking his pulse I see it's strong and I'm relieved to learn he's not gravely wounded. Examining his head I see it has all the hallmarks of blunt force trauma. I look around for signs of a struggle or evidence of what happened here. But there's nothing, only Nick. I cradle him in my lap and wait for the cavalry to arrive.

I can feel the adrenalin pumping through my body as I kneel there reflecting on what just happened. We both had a close call and are lucky to be alive. However I don't have long to enjoy my relief as all of a sudden yet another shot rings out, skidding off the dusty surface only a couple of feet from our position. I can't quite gauge it's origin but I'm not hanging around while the shooter hones his sights. I scan the area for cover and instantly spot a disused corrugated iron hut on the North side, storing some grotty trash cans. Now on my feet, I hook my arms under Nicks armpits and shuffling backwards, begin dragging his limp body to safety. Another shot rings out, and another. It seems to be coming from a derelict apartment block behind the North perimeter.

Despite Nick's dead weight I'm making good ground across the wasteland towards safety. Just a few more feet to go... Another shot rings out. Our would be assassin is getting closer with each shot, but we're almost there, just a few more steps...

Without warning I feel a searing pain rip through my left shoulder. I lose all power in my arm and my momentum causes me to lose my balance as I collapse under Nick's inertia. In an instant I am on the ground, face up, the lower half of my body trapped under Nick's, his dead weight anchoring me in position. I'm dazed and disoriented, my brain slow to catch up with events. My shoulder feels like it's on fire and my head is pounding from the impact with the hard ground. I feel a sudden surge of panic as awareness kicks in and I realize I'm trapped. Scrambling to free myself, each movement feels like a thousand daggers through my injured shoulder. Tears of pain are stinging my eyes as I stifle my screams. My ears are ringing with the sounds of whooping and cheering from the gallery above as the shooter and his friends celebrate the felling of their quarry. I know we're sitting ducks out here and our hunters can take their sweet time picking us off slowly. I need to find a way to get free and take us to safety.

Digging deep and with gritted teeth I curse as I push through the mind-numbing pain. Grunting loudly, I grab the top of Nick's flap jacket with my right arm and roll him onto his right side while at the same time rolling my legs out from under his body. As I do so I lean on my damaged left shoulder and I roar in pain. This alerts my hunters to my efforts and as I stumble to my feet clutching my left arm I can see them now, looking out from the balcony of the crumbling apartment block across the street. It's the perfect vantage point, with a clear view of the waste ground below and of our position. In particular I'm drawn to a short man wearing a dirty white sweatshirt, feverishly reloading what looks like a revolver, his features distorted with rage.

I'm now on my feet, but the world is swirling around me and I stumble as I try to find my bearings and control my panic. Swallowing my fear, I shake my head to clear the dizziness and try to focus on my surroundings. I spot the hut again and decide to make a dash for it. Using my right hand I grab Nick by the nape of his flap jacket and facing forward I dodge the latest deluge of gunfire, dragging him towards safety. With one last gargantuan effort I swing Nick in a narrow arc on the ground and deposit him safely under the cover of the garbage hut. In that instant another shot rings out and I immediately fall to my knees, doubling over in pain. As I clutch my midriff, a warm stickiness envelops my fingers. Looking down I see the crimson ring spreading out across the fabric of my white button-down cotton shirt. Falling forward, I know I'm in trouble when my body turns limp and lifeless as my motor functions begin to shut down. I curse feebly as cheers of celebration ring out from the gallery overhead. Lying face down now I try to pull myself up but I'm too weak. I slump to the ground defeated. However as the gallery above see my movement the cheers turn to fury and a cry of pure hatred rings out, I hear a solo voice scream "I don't fucking believe it, she's still moving!" His tone darkens as he adds "Don't worry Sweet Thing, I'm coming for you!", the venom in his voice causing me goosebumps as my heart sinks in desperation.

Cursing myself for allowing this to happen, I know I have to get out of his line of sight but I also know he's coming for us so I need to find a defensive position. The only problem is I'm badly injured and I can't move. My mind is in overdrive as images of previous crime scenes flood my memory, drawing vivid pictures of what this psychopath could do to me and Nick if I let him and so I need to do something. I have just enough function left to drag myself to immediate safety using my right arm and hip for leverage. The effort is excruciating and I howl in pain, but I know it's our only chance of survival. With one last agonizing heave I turn my body to face back out towards the waste ground, positioning my frame over Nick to give him cover from our unwelcome guests. My body is going into shock and my vision is swamped with dark blotches. My systems are shutting down to enter preservation mode, except that if that happens it will be the death of both me and Nick. I will myself to stay awake as I gingerly reach down and retrieve my holstered sidearm. Briefly holding it in my left hand I grimace as I pull the chamber back with my right, preparing for battle. Beads of sweat ring my brow and trickle down my face, stinging my eyes. I feel nauseous and my body is shaking. With the shock advancing all the while, I fight back the fear and panic steadily brewing inside of me. I pass the pistol back to my right hand and use the trunk of Nick's body to steady my firing arm. My vision is blurred and I'm having trouble focussing. _"Come on Sofia, stay awake or we're both dead"_, I plead to myself, pushing down the anxiety and desperation which threatens to overcome me with each passing second.

All of a sudden in my peripheral vision I see movement to my right and I swing my weapon feebly towards the threat. Gritting my teeth I steel myself for the inevitable showdown and I'm not conceding without a fight. With my finger on the trigger I attempt to take aim despite my badly blurred vision. As I press down on the trigger ready to release its lethal payload, I'm surprised and confused when the person advancing towards me suddenly calls my name. "Sofia!" Blinking hard I focus again, making out a gold badge on his lapel, and through my foggy vision I see the outline of a familiar face. As my body finally yields and I slump lifelessly on top of Nick, I am caught by the supporting arms of Captain Jim Brass.

"Stay with me Sofia, help is here. Open your eyes, you're safe." I can only respond in a weak voice "Apartment block... three men... gun", as I lie motionless in Jim's arms before the medics move in to ply their craft. Jim steps back and issuing a few sharp orders, quickly deploys the uniforms to check out the area. The medics work fast, attending to both me and Nick. As the blackness overcomes me my last conscious thought is one of solace that Nick has made it.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

_Beep... Beep... Beep..._ I slowly open my eyes, straining against the harsh light of the room. _Beep... Beep... Beep..._ "Where am I?" I mumble to no-one in particular. I'm startled to hear a man's voice respond, "You're in hospital Sofia. Can you remember what happened?" I gingerly turn my head to the right towards the voice, cranium thumping, trying to put a face to the mystery man. The light in the room is bright and it hurts my eyes. As my vision slowly comes into focus, I can see him now, sitting beside me wearing a black v-neck tee shirt, a white bandage wrapped around his head, his brow furrowed with worry.

"Hey Nick," I say sleepily. "You're hurt, are you okay'?"

"Yeah I'm fine Sofia, just a scratch. Do you remember what happened?"

I ponder the question for a moment before responding "We were attacked at the Fisher scene, you were hurt, I... let you get hurt." I try to sit up to get a better look at him but my body stiffens and I grunt in pain. Confused, I look searchingly into Nick's eyes for an answer.

"Sofia, you were shot. Twice. One in your shoulder and one in your abdomen. It was bad, you had us all very worried for a while," he says, smiling gently.

"Where's my Mom?" I ask, half distracted as flashes of memories cross my mind.

"She's been with you the whole time, the doctor sent her home for some rest, I'll contact her, let her know you're awake," Nick says as he starts to retreat.

"No wait!" I plead as I lurch forward, arm stretched towards him, momentarily forgetting my injuries until a sharp pain stops me in my tracks and I wince.

"You need to lay still Sof, you were hurt really bad. Let me get the doctor, he can explain better."

"No Nick, please, you tell me."

"Okay," Nick sighs. "Well, luckily the shoulder shot was a through-and-through, didn't hit anything important so no permanent damage. The second bullet was different, pierced your kidney and caused extensive internal injuries. It was lodged near your spine which caused a few complications during surgery. They couldn't save the kidney, it was too badly damaged. You nearly bled out... your heart stopped... you gave us quite a scare."

"How long was I out?" I ask, desperately trying to piece things together.

"Um," Nick pauses, calculating, "your initial surgery took about eight hours, but there were some post op complications, internal bleeding, so they had to go back in. Afterwards, they sedated you to help your recovery. All in all you've been out for almost six days. Look, I'll get the doc..."

"No! Please Nick! Just stay with me a while."

"It's okay Sof, I'm not going anywhere."

"Nick, I was so scared..." my voice falters.

"I know Sof, me too, I thought those guys were gonna kill us. In fact, if it wasn't for you..."

"No Nick, I put you in danger. I shouldn't have left you, I should've stayed with you. I knew it was a rough area but I didn't pay enough attention. I didn't follow protocol and you nearly died. I'm sorry Nick." I bow my head apologetically, eyes turned down towards the bed covers.

"Sof, what are you talking about," Nick says, "you saved me!"

Tears well up in my eyes as I stare into his dark orbs, full of compassion and understanding. I don't deserve his mercy.

* * *

As I sit by her bedside I reach out and gently wipe away the tears from her cheeks. Then taking her right hand in mine I stare into her azure eyes which suddenly seem softer than usual. I've never seen her vulnerable like this and I'm touched by it. Truth is, when I came to in the hospital and was told what had happened, I was crazy with worry. I felt so guilty that I had left Sofia exposed and had endangered her life. We sit there in silence for a while. Eventually we are interrupted by the nurse coming round on her routine checks. Once she realizes Sofia has awoken I'm quickly ushered out of the room as other doctors and nurses swoop in to complete their assessments.

I use the time to ring Captain Curtis, Sofia's Mom. Her relief on hearing Sofia has woken up is palpable. I also call Brass and Catherine to fill them in. It is good news all round. At one stage the doctors worried that Sofia wouldn't wake at all. Between her injuries and the complications during surgery she had lost a lot of blood and was breathing with a ventilator. They worried that she had suffered too much damage. So seeing her awake and talking is a huge relief. She still has a long road ahead though, and it's still too early to tell how her injuries are going to heal. But for now it's enough that she's awake.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

The days are long, punctuated only by the arduous physical therapy sessions and the occasional visit from a colleague or my Mom. The flowers in my room have withered by now, the only cue as to the length of time that's passed since I arrived here. Every day bleeds into the next, I feel as though I'll never be myself again. I sit through the counseling sessions making all the right noises, fooling the therapist into thinking I'm okay. Truth is, I'm not sure I'll ever be okay. Even though I survived the shooting, it's clear that a part of me died that day. I no longer feel impervious to the violence that surrounds me everywhere. I now know what it's truly like to get hurt, and the reality is devastating. My colleagues don't really visit much anymore, they don't like to be reminded that under different circumstances, it could be them in here some day. I guess I can't blame them, I've often felt that way too. What gets to me the most is the 'pity look' I get from them on the rare occasion that they do visit. You know the look, the one that hides their own fears as they watch me struggle to complete the most basic tasks, such as sitting up, getting dressed, walking. For God's sake, I'm walking around like an old person, using a walking frame to support my movements. The physical therapist says I'm making good progress, she tries to encourage me and keep my spirits up, but I can sense she's not telling me everything. The other day I overheard her talking to my Mom about my case. They think that despite the physical therapy and the steady progress I'm making I'll never walk unaided. The second bullet did a lot more damage to my spine than they originally thought. They're surprised I can walk at all, they didn't think it was possible. With these injuries I can't go back to work. So that's it, they've written me off. _Well, I'll show them, I'll walk again. Hell, I'll do it right now!_

I look over at my bedside locker as I lie on the hospital bed. It's 8.12 am. The medical staff have just finished their morning rounds. I got the usual routine, plenty of smiles as they quickly reviewed my chart, asking me how I am without waiting for a reply. Then they checked over a couple of my vitals, followed by some reflex checks, followed by frowns and silence as they scribbled something illegible on my chart. Then they changed their tone as they finally looked up at me, smiling through gritted teeth as they tell me I'm _'making good progress'_. That phrase has become my kiss of death. But not today, this day is different. When I awoke this morning I decided that today is the day I'm going to walk again. So, sitting up, I look around the empty room, gingerly swing my legs over the side of the bed and shuffle towards the edge. Slowly I place my feet on the ground, using my arms to support my weight. The hard floor is cold under my feet and the sensation feels good. Carefully, I shift my weight onto my legs and stand up. _So far so good._ Next I place my right leg out in front to take a step. I wince as a sharp dagger of pain shoots up my limb and as I lose all power I fall awkwardly, crashing down on my right hip. I scream in pain and frustration as I slump on the floor, defeated. After a while the pain subsides a little and I grasp at the bed covers hoping to use them as an anchor to pull myself upright. But it's no use I have no strength left. I give up and just lay their sprawled on the floor, tears of anger and helplessness streaming down my face.

I don't know how long I was lying on that floor, but it was long enough for me to face some harsh truths. I realize now that this is my life, I'll never be myself again. I'll never run round the track, chase down suspects, strut along the beach in a bikini. I'll always need canes to walk, I'll always need help. My heart feels heavy as I think about what I've lost. I won't work as a cop again. Up to now my whole life has been defined by my career. All the double shifts I've pulled, working on my days off, totally engrossed in my job. It gave me a sense of purpose knowing that I was making a real difference. I've lost all of that forever. On top of that I spurned many relationships over the years, many chances to find happiness, I was too focussed on my career to care. Finally I'm filled with overwhelming grief as I realize that I've lost my chance at a normal life, a family of my own, all the things I took for granted before that day. No-one will be interested in me now, I'm broken, damaged. Slowly I feel the anger and resentment flare up inside me as I relive that day at the Fischer scene. If I had just done one thing differently I might not be in this mess now. If I hadn't broken protocol and left Nick alone those goons wouldn't have jumped him and I wouldn't have been shot. If I had shot back instead of running for cover I might not have been shot. If I had moved a little quicker, or weaved a little more I could have dodged those bullets. The possibilities flood my consciousness and I'm engulfed with anger and sorrow. I continue to lie there motionless, waiting to be found.

As the days roll on I withdraw further into myself, refusing the few visitors who bother to come by. I won't cooperate with the physical therapy either. Why should I, it's not going to help me, I'm not going to get better. I just lie there thinking about what I've lost, my career, my relationships, Nick. I don't want him to see me like this and I'll never be the person I was. But yet I miss him. I miss his goofy smile and his corny jokes. I miss his loyalty and friendship. I miss his voice, his scent, the way he makes my heart skip when he calls my name. I miss the way the rest of the world dissolves away when I'm with him. I finally realise that he's the one who's been in my dreams. He's the person I picture when I'm scared and need reassurance. He's the one, the only one I want. But I've ruined it. I didn't take the chance when I had it, and now the chance has gone forever. Truth be told I think I loved Nick from the very first moment I laid eyes on him. I think again about that day at the crime scene when I heard that first gunshot, the panic I felt was like nothing I've ever felt before. The panic wasn't for me, it was for him. Of course, I was scared, but not for the reasons I thought at first. Sure I was afraid at the thought of some unknown evil causing me harm, but it was the chance that something might have happened to Nick that filled me with a fear and a dread I've never felt before. But it doesn't matter now, that time has passed, I missed my chance. That thought is what hurts the most and I sink deeper and deeper into depression.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Something has happened to Sofia but no-one will talk. She's refusing visitors, she won't even see her Mom. I've come by every day for the past week but she won't let anyone in. I see the nurses huddling, talking in low voices, glancing towards her room, and it fills me with dread. I can't imagine what has changed to cause Sofia to react this way. She's so strong and determined I can't see anything keeping her down. _I don't care what anyone else thinks, I'm not giving up on her._ I loiter around the nurses station for a while until I get a break. As soon as the station is clear I quietly slip into Sofia's room. I slowly walk up to her bed. The room is dimly lit, the blinds are drawn and Sofia is lying motionless in her bed. I reach her side and gently whisper "Hey Sof". She doesn't react and so I pull over a chair and sit down beside her and wait.

A long time passes before she finally speaks.

"What are you doing here Nick? Just leave me alone."

"Not until you tell me what's going on."

"There's no point, you can't do anything."

"What do you mean?"

I'm just met with silence. I sit there a while longer and I hear her sobbing.

"Please Sof, you're scaring me. Just tell me what's happening, I want to help you", I plead.

"You don't get it Nick, there's nothing you, me, or anyone else can do. I'm never going to recover. I'm never going back to work, I'm never... going to be... normal."

That's when I realize what's going on and my heart breaks for her. I say nothing and just reach out and gently lay my hand on hers. She recoils at my touch and she just lays there weeping. I don't know what to do, words seem useless, so I lean across and gently kiss her forehead.

* * *

As I lay there, lost in my own misery Nick softly kisses my forehead. My reaction is immediate as I snap my head over and lock eyes with him.

"Why did you do that, why did you kiss me?" I demand.

"You looked like you needed it. And because... I... love you!"

I just continue staring at him, I have no words. What am I supposed to do with this information now?

"Did you hear what I said Sof? I love you! Truth be told, I've always loved you from the first time I laid eyes on you."

"What do you want me to say Nick? It's too late, you left it too late! Everything's changed now, I can't be what you want me to be." I sob sadly.

"Don't say that Sof. I know I was stupid to leave it so long. I've wanted to say something for a while now, but it's taken this to make me realize that my reasons for waiting were stupid. I was afraid of losing you as a friend, but I nearly did anyway. Now I understand that in this job you need to grab every opportunity to be happy so here I am, telling you that I want to be with you. I love you."

It's funny sometimes that you can wait to hear something for so long and then when it happens your not sure if it's what you want anymore. I smile sadly at Nick. "I love you too Nick. I just can't give you what you need anymore. I can't believe I'm even saying this, I've wanted this for so long, but it's too late, it's not going to work."

Nick looks crestfallen. He has no more words, he just sits there, sorrow consuming his features. He takes my hand again and sits in silence for a long time.

I can't believe what I'm hearing. I feel so stupid. I thought I had all the time in the world but that day at the crime scene I was petrified I was going to lose her. I think I knew I loved her from the moment we first met. But life and Boulder City got in the way. Then out of the blue when she walked back into my life, I realized I was being offered a second chance, but I still couldn't work up the courage to ask her out. She's such a formidable woman, she can wither you with a stare, but she's always had an integrity about her which I respect and adore.

She had a hard time when she first came to the lab, we just saw her as Ecklie's puppet, tasked with splitting up the Graveyard team, but she proved us all wrong with the Q&C investigation on Gil's case, calling it as she saw it. And it cost her when she earned a demotion for her trouble, but that still wasn't enough for Sara and Catherine to accept her. It must've been tough, but she sucked it up and got on with the job. That was the measure of the woman. I was glad for her that she left on her own terms, just reward I felt, although I was kicking myself for missing the chance of something more with her. And not for the first time it looks like I left it too late to make my move. I'm devastated, I don't know what to do or say, so I just sit there in silence holding Sofia's hand.

We sit like this for a long time. Eventually I lift my head and look into Sofia's blue eyes, tinged with sadness. Right there and then I make a decision and with renewed determination I say, "Okay Sofia, I understand how you're feeling and I'm willing to wait. One thing though, I'm not giving up on you and I'm not letting you give up. I'm going to help you every step of the way. You will recover, that's my promise to you. I'll be here every day and there's no point telling the nurses to keep me out, I've already shown you that doesn't work!" With that I stand up, lean over and kiss her gently on the lips before striding out of the room before she has time to argue.

* * *

I look on incredulously. I'm not too sure what just happened! Unless my mind is playing tricks on me, Nick just told me he loves me and won't give up on me. My lips are still tingling from his kiss. I feel a subtle shift inside me, and I think it feels like hope.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

I relish the daily visits from Nick. In fact it's the highlight of my day. Little by little the visitors have petered out and now it's just Nick and my Mom. I guess the others look at me and think it could be them sometime. Hell, I've been there myself. The reality of the road that lies ahead has hit home with me and I'm scared. I have my good days when I feel invincible but I also have those days when I feel defeated, as though I'll never make it. Rehab is tough, I don't think I could keep doing it without Nick's support. But he makes me want to get better, fast. I'm excited to tell him about my progress and encouraged by his comfort when I'm struggling. Bit by bit, I'm improving and I'm determined to recover. I fantasize about the day when I finally walk back into the precinct, badge on my belt. I know the medical staff don't think it's possible, but I need to believe it can happen, I need that sense of purpose.

I'm sitting up in my hospital bed reading when Nick walks in.

"Hey there," I say, beaming at him.

"Hey yourself. How's today been?"

"Pretty good actually. The physical therapist thinks I'm close to taking my first solo steps. In fact she thinks I could do it already, the only thing stopping me is my head."

"So, how about it?"

"What, now?"

"Sure, why not?"

"I don't know..."

"Okay, I won't force you, but I'm here for you... and I won't let you fall."

I can feel the adrenalin coursing through my veins and my heartbeat quickens. _Am I really gonna do this?_

'Okay, I'll give it a go," I say.

"Well okay then! Just remember, I'm right here, I promise I won't let you fall."

I position my legs over the edge of the bed and slowly shuffle forward. Carefully I place my feet on the floor. Nick moves to position himself in front of me, arms outstretched ready to catch me. Slowly I shift my weight onto my legs and stand upright. My heart is racing and I take a few deep breaths to steady my nerves. I remember back to my last attempt at this, it didn't end well. I push those memories from my mind and focus on the task at hand. Gritting my teeth I attempt to take my first step. I place my right foot out in front and successfully shift my weight onto it. I repeat the action this time with my left foot. I follow with my right again, then left, right, then left. _I'm walking!_

"That's it Sof, you're walking! Keep it going, all the way to me!"

I take a few more steps before stumbling into Nick's strong arms. He's waiting for me and catches me with ease.

"I did it... I walked!" I shout, hardly able to believe what I've just accomplished.

"I knew you could do it. I'm so proud of you," Nick cheers as he gathers me into a big bear hug and smothers me in kisses.

We stand there wrapped up in each other for several minutes until my legs start to give way. Nick helps me back to my bed. We spend the next hour or so reliving the moment, both of us smiling from ear to ear.

Over the coming weeks I continue to improve, walking further and faster. Nick continues to keep his promise and visits every day. We go from chatting at my bedside, to walking the hospital corridors to walking around the hospital grounds. Over the past couple of months we've talked about everything, family, likes and dislikes, childhood, music, food, you name it. We have a lot in common, similar values and tastes, except when it comes to music. Nick is country all the way, I lean more towards jazz. Nick, always the gentleman, agrees to take me to a jazz session some day.

Today we're taking in the hospital grounds, enjoying the morning sunshine. Nick has just finished a shift and has come by with breakfast, coffee and bagels. We find a bench outside and tuck in. We're discussing his latest case, he's deep in conversation, explaining the finer points of effective fingerprinting when I suddenly interrupt him.

"They're talking about letting me go home."

"What? Hey that's amazing news, when?"

"Maybe as soon as tomorrow. They were really pleased with my last assessment and think that if tomorrow's goes well they won't need to keep me in any more."

"Oh Sof, I'm so pleased. Okay, well we'll need to make plans. I'll get a spare key cut for my place and we can swing by your apartment tomorrow and pick up some essentials..."

'What are you talking about, I'm going to stay at my place," I say.

"Oh, okay. I guess that could work too. I'll just throw a few things in a bag for myself and..."

"No Nick, I'm going home, alone," I say.

"Do you really think that's a good idea?" argues Nick.

"This is what I want Nick. I need to know I can do this. Otherwise how will things ever get back to normal?"

"Um, okay, we'll play it your way for now, on one condition, you need to call me if you have any problems. And if you have a fall or anything I'm moving right in, no arguments."

"That's two conditions," I say, smiling. "Okay, it's a deal."

The next day I pack my hospital bag and sign the discharge forms. Nick comes to meet me and drives me home. He grabs my stuff and a few brown paper bags with groceries from the trunk. I walk through the door and take in a deep breath. _I'm finally home!_ I settle in and we have lunch together in comfortable silence. Afterwards we both clear up. Nick stays on for a while, afraid to leave me alone, even though he's just come off a night shift and is struggling to keep his eyes open.

After a while I attempt to reassure him, "I'll be fine, go get some sleep."

I'm surprised when he doesn't argue, just kisses me gently on the lips and makes for the door.

"I'll come by later before my shift starts, I'll bring dinner," he calls halfway down the sidewalk.

I watch him as he drives off, my fingers absentmindedly touching my lips where he kissed me. I turn around and face my empty apartment, only it doesn't feel empty. I look around and see my mail all neatly piled on the coffee table, my plants have been watered, my trash has been emptied. Nope, it's not empty anymore.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

I slam my car door shut and nervously make my way through the car park. I don't know why I'm feeling so nervous, it's not like I haven't done this countless times before. Except this time it is different. At one point I didn't think I'd ever return, but here I am back at work and despite the nerves it feels good.

I walk through the door and enter the precinct. Much to my embarrassment I'm met with clapping and cheering from my colleagues as they welcome me back like a hero. I suddenly feel self-conscious as I walk along the corridor in my full dress uniform. It's with relief that I see the familiar face of Jim Brass, smiling at me from the doorway of his office.

"Welcome back Detective," he says as he ushers me into his sanctuary.

"Good to be back," I say.

"So, how are you feeling?" he asks.

"I just want to get back to normal," I reply.

"That's understandable. Well, it's good to have you back. Look, you're not going to like this but you'll be stuck on desk duty until the Department are satisfied that you can go back into the field."

"Yeah you're right, I don't like it, but I understand," I say.

Truth is, I don't mind that much, I think it's better to ease into things first.

"Okay, go get changed, quite a caseload has built up since you've been gone," Jim winks.

I make my way over to the locker room. I'm relieved to find it's empty despite the recent shift switchover. I arrive at my locker and unlock it. It's exactly as I left it; a photo stuck to the inside door of me as a kid with my parents on vacation, a spare outfit including shoes neatly folded on the bottom shelf, various cosmetics and a hair brush on the top shelf. One by one I pick up each item and slowly study them, trying to remember the last time I used them. Eventually I begin to change out of my uniform into the familiar gray slacks and blue button-down shirt. _It's good to be back. _I smile to myself.

* * *

I open the door to the women's locker room and take a peek inside. I quickly see that it's empty except for her. I enter and gently close the door behind me. Leaning against it now I stand there motionless taking in the view. Sofia is standing at her locker in full dress uniform. It's her first day back at work and she's fresh from an award ceremony at City Hall in her honor. The city awarded her with the medal of valor for her actions that day at the Fischer scene. She saved my life and nearly lost hers in return. I didn't think it was possible but that act of utter selflessness has made me love her more than ever. The past few months have been filled with worry, heartbreak, relief, frustration, hope, despair, happiness. It took a strange twist of fate to bring us together and the time spent by her hospital bed has been one of the most enriching experiences of my life. We explored every facet of each other's being, we've gotten to know each other like no-one else and despite all that she still wants to be with me! So here I am, standing in the women's locker room, watching her get ready for her first day back at work. I take in the sight of her in her uniform, she looks beautiful with her hair gathered up in a bun. She removes her jacket and shirt and I can see her toned muscles ripple as she bends and flexes to remove her uniform pants. I draw my breath at the sight, her body is amazing, so beautiful. I can see a small scar near her left shoulder blade where the first bullet hit. It's still quite pink but is healing nicely. I study her bronzed skin, toned legs, her slender but curvy frame. Although her back is facing me my pulse quickens as I take in her full beauty.

I stand there for a few more moments, silently watching her as she lets her hair out of her bun, brushes it through and puts on her work shirt before eventually announcing my presence by clearing my throat. She swivels round suddenly, initially startled by my presence. But her look of surprise is quickly replaced by a broad smile when she registers that it's me.

"Hey Honey!" she says.

"Hey yourself!" I reply grinning. "How are they treating you so far?"

"Oh fine. It's a little weird being back, but it's great too. I'm just looking forward to getting settled back in at my desk."

"Confined to desk duty, huh? Oh well, I guess that was to be expected. I'm sure you'll be back on the streets in no time."

* * *

Nick closes the gap between us as we talk until he's standing beside me. I have turned around so that I'm facing him now. Nick places one hand behind my head and the other hand round the small of my back and pulls me in for a long, slow kiss. I reciprocate, allowing a small moan to escape from my lips and I can feel him grin through the kiss. After a while he breaks off and looks deep into my eyes. Then he shifts his gaze to the scar on my shoulder. He asks for permission with his eyes and I agree with a small nod. Gently Nick slips my bra strap off my shoulder and kisses the scar left by the bullet wound. I tremble under his touch and my pulse quickens. He continues to caress my scar with butterfly kisses for a few more moments. Then he begins to move down my abdomen until he reaches my second wound. It receives the same treatment. The effect is overwhelming, my breath catches and my legs weaken. I'm powerless against his touch, he could do anything to me right now and I'd have no defense. He continues to focus his attention on my lower abdomen for several more minutes. I'm disappointed when he suddenly breaks off and stands up once more to meet my gaze.

"Did I ever thank you?" he asks huskily.

"No," I reply, my voice hoarse.

"Tonite. I'll pick you up at seven."

Grinning he turns around and walks out of the room leaving me hot and breathless.

I spend the rest of the day burying myself in my work, vainly attempting to push down the fire burning inside me. My mind keeps drifting back to this morning and I can't hide my smile. Eventually I catch myself in my dreamworld and I shake my head to bring myself back to reality. Focussing again I decide to read through my statement of the investigation into my shooting. The two men were picked up in the derelict apartment block behind the scene and I identified them from my hospital bed using mug shots. I wasn't able to attend their trial due to my injuries but it was a pretty open and shut case and they received jail terms of 24 and 32 years without parole. There was also the matter of my shooting of one of the suspects. While in hospital I endured hours of questioning by IA investigators but my testimony was backed up by the evidence and it didn't take long for them to conclude that it was a good shooting. Finally with a satisfied smile I close the data pack and file it away for the last time.

The rest of the day is filled with checking up details from suspect statements of other case files, dates and times, alibis, phone records. It's tedious but it just about keeps me distracted from my impending date.

* * *

"Stupid idea Stokes, you should've stuck with the casual look," I mumble to myself as I catch my reflection in a nearby darkened window outside Sofia's complex. Reaching her apartment door I pause to adjust my collar. I'm surprised with how nervous I feel and I'm suddenly very uncomfortable in my sports coat. I'm usually so confident with women, but this time it's different. I guess this must be the Curtis Effect!

Shrugging off my doubts I knock on the door. I hear movement on the other side before it eventually opens and I'm rewarded with the most beautiful sight in the world. Sofia looks radiant in a red sweetheart shaped, knee length dress, matching red heels, hair long and straight with pearl-drop earrings. But even better than that is her warm smile. I can feel the fire growing deep inside me and forgetting my nerves I step through the threshold and grab her in a long, passionate kiss. Her lips part invitingly and I explore the inside of her mouth with my tongue. Very soon my body is aching for more. I close the door behind me with my foot, pick Sofia up turn her around and roughly push her up against the inside of the door. I continue kissing her and she moans with pleasure as my hands explore her body over the outside of her dress. Her moans send me into overdrive and growling I scoop Sofia up into my arms to move her towards the bedroom. Our urgent need threatens to overtake us before we reach our destination, as clothes are shed, bodies crashing together, we hardly notice as we knock against a lamp table, smashing the lamp into small pieces. We ignore it, completely wrapped up in each other. When we eventually reach the bedroom we are naked, breathing heavily, consumed by desire. We spend the next few hours in deep pleasure.

* * *

Afterwards my body is spent and I drift into a contented sleep. When I eventually stir, I wake up slowly, taking my time to relive the last few hours, remembering how I felt when Nick kissed me, touched me, pleasured me. My pulse quickens as those feeling stir inside me again and I stretch out my arm to find him. But he's not there, he's gone. My eyes shoot open and I survey the room, hoping that he's still here somewhere, but he's not. Feeling a surge of panic, my mind starts to wonder what happened. _Did I do something wrong? _Slipping on my dressing gown I make my way out of the bedroom into my open plan apartment. I'm relieved to find Nick pottering in the kitchen, food smells wafting from the galley.

"Hey darlin', you sleep okay?" he asks. "I got some take-out, it was the least I could do since I didn't actually take you to dinner." His brazen smirk makes my cheeks burn.

He serves up dinner and we eat it hungrily. Afterwards we make our way back to the bedroom and spend the rest of the night making love. We spend the following morning relaxing together. As I clean up our coffee mugs I look back towards the living area, watching Nick as he sits there reading the morning papers. I feel like I'm living in a parallel universe, I never could have believed I'd actually be living my dreams.

"Hey Nick, did I ever thank you?" I ask suddenly.

Putting down the papers Nick looks up confused and asks, 'What for Sof?"

"I may well have saved your life, but you saved mine too."

**THE END**


End file.
